


Moments Like These

by Levefre



Category: Half-Life
Genre: F/M, Fanfiction, Half-Life 2: Episode Two, Love, Romance, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:06:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28029750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Levefre/pseuds/Levefre
Summary: Alyx and Gordon are forced to pause their journey to White Forest to take shelter from a thunderstorm and the coming night. Whilst they enjoy a well-deserved rest, a journey of reflection takes place and the traumas of the past come back to haunt Gordon, revealing a weakness never shared.So it’s been a while since I wrote something and I’m currently taking a break from my novel to recharge my inspiration. I decided to do another short, exploring an interaction between Gordon and Alyx for a change. This takes place in Episode 2, before they reach White Forest. Enjoy!
Relationships: Gordon Freeman/Alyx Vance
Kudos: 25





	Moments Like These

Rain pattered against the squares of dirty glass and the worn metal roof. A low rumble broke the solace of rest that had scarcely begun, the young woman’s eyes snapping open in alarm. She instinctively reached for the pistol and curled her fingers tightly around its grip.

She waited and listened.

Another growl slowly faded in and a flash from outside lit up the tiny shack they had made their shelter. Swathes of tall pines and ferns existed momentarily before the night claimed them once more.

Alyx sighed and relaxed, releasing the gun.

_Just a storm..._

So much for sleep. She had struggled to drift off and now the chance of that happening again was slim. Normally in this situation she would tinker with her projects or hang out with Dog, but she couldn’t do either of those things. Huffing quietly, she rolled onto her back with some protestation from the mattress’ broken springs and glanced over to the man sleeping nearby.

Gordon was out like a light, his expression serene whilst his chest rose and fell with gentle breaths. She pouted at him, wishing she could do the same instead of suffering a mindless wait for morning, though the jealously quickly passed.

He looked exhausted and beaten. Dark circles were growing around his eyes and his pale skin was marred by cuts, scratches and bruising. It had been so long since she had seen him in anything but that suit that she’d almost forgotten he was still flesh and bone beneath it.

She turned to face him, curiously examining the exposed parts of his body that were not obscured by the frayed blankets. Even in the dim candlelight she could make out the little freckles on his shoulders and whilst it was such a minute detail, she found it fascinating all the same... As if she was seeing him for the first time. 

One hand subconsciously rested over the two raised marks on her abdomen. The memories were blurry but she could still recall the agony she felt and the look on Gordon’s face. His screaming and the hunter’s laugh were the last things she heard. She was going to die there, that she was sure of and yet her last thoughts weren’t of herself or even her father. They were of him.

When she woke again, he was the first person she saw.

She had managed to hide her feelings well at the time, keeping them focused on their goal. Now they felt raw. She could have died. She _should_ have died. The man lying next to her had risked his life and the lives of many others just to save hers; she didn’t need to know the details to realise that. All the gratitude in the world didn’t feel like enough.

When they met in that collapsed stairwell back in the city she was quietly sceptical. He certainly didn’t resemble the ‘reckoning’ – as said by the Vortigaunts, along with other heroic phrases – she had envisioned. Time and time again, however, he proved otherwise. Breen’s death and the ruined citadel was a testament to their praise.

After going through so much together, a strong connection had formed between them. It was as if they had been friends for years.

Or was it more than that?

Alyx blinked out of her train of thought, catching herself. There was no denying that she had developed a fondness for him after fearing his death on countless occasions, but this wasn’t the time or place. Still she wondered... Did _he_ feel the same way about her?

Gordon was a difficult man to read. He was so quiet and inward usually, though lately he had become more receptive, more open. The additional surprise of his emotional, warm embrace when she was on her feet again, along with his subtle protectiveness since then lingered in the back of her mind. Compared to before when he barely said a word or smiled, he had really come out of his shell. She smirked a little at her own pun, glancing to the suit laying in pieces on the floor still drying off from the rain.

She carefully rolled back to her own side and clambered off the mattress, stretching whilst padding along bare footed to the door. She needed to clear her head.

The shack door creaked a little and she winced.

“Shhh... Stupid thing.”

She stepped out onto the porch in her shirt and underwear, listening to the sounds of droplets hitting the leaves of the canopy. Rolling thunder continued overhead, flashes of lightning allowing her to see the forest in short intervals. A cool wind blew through the branches and made them sway back and forth, giving the illusion of the green giants dancing. It made her shiver but she was determined to have her little moment of calm.

They were lucky to find this place when the storm hit. Having a car lacking a roof, screen and doors might have looked – in her own words – badass, but it didn’t exactly keep out the weather. With the hour getting late and light fading, they took to the trees for cover and stumbled upon the shack. It was a welcome rest for both of them though Gordon needed it far more than she did. After all, he had been moving non-stop since the crash with little reprieve or break whilst she was in her induced coma.

Maybe this was what camping was like? It wasn’t _exactly_ how Barney had explained, but they were still in the middle of nowhere, using what they could for shelter and living off rationed food. Close enough, right?

She smiled to herself, looking back to them frantically trying to cover the car with foliage to make it less obvious and keep it somewhat dry. They both looked like drowned rats in the end, but they were still in good spirits somehow.

Though insignificant in comparison to what they had achieved, it was the little things that always stuck with Alyx. She had grown up in a very different world, where normal and mundane to others were questions and discoveries to her. The Combine and City 17 were all she had ever known. Fighting against them – both figuratively and literally – was her everyday life.

It was moments like these where she felt she could really _live_.

The storm grew louder. Bolts of lightning ripped through the clouds as the rain fell heavier, battering the little shack.

_Looks like it’s gonna get bad... I should go back inside._

She retreated to the door, struggling against the wind to force it closed. She bolted it shut and moved a chair in front to reinforce it.

“Phew...”

Shivering and craving the blankets, she returned to the mattress and tried to ignore her growing concern over the roof being torn off.

Alyx paused, seeing Gordon tossing and turning under the covers, his restful sleep suddenly chaotic.

“Gordon...?”

There was no response, her voice failing to wake him. Anguish pulled at his features and he kept muttering something incoherent in his fit of distress. Frowning with worry, she knelt next to him and gave him a firm shake.

“Gordon!”

Gordon bolted upright with a yell, making her cry out in surprise and pull away. He snatched the crowbar from the floor and held it defensively, staring at her. His entire body shook, slick with cold sweat and his hair damp.

Alyx quickly raised her hands, watching his terrified gaze.

“Woah – woah! Easy! Easy...”

He was breathing rapidly, pumped with adrenaline and watching her like a cornered animal. She’d never seen him look _this_ scared before and there had been many, not so pleasant moments where they were both afraid. Whatever he dreamt of had really done a number on him.

“Gordon...” She began, gathering her voice.

“Listen to me... It’s Alyx. You’re safe, we both are. I’m not going to hurt you, Gordon. Let’s put the crowbar down...”

She gingerly reached for his arm with one hand, watching him calmly. The hand gripping the crowbar trembled, his expression softening slightly as the night terror slowly relinquished its hold.

“You don’t want to hit me with that thing. That’s for the bad guys, okay?”

Her fingers touched his wrist and she gently held it, persuading him to lower the tool. She smiled at him in an attempt to comfort and encourage, avoiding using too much force so to not spook him. It seemed to be working.

“There you go. See? It’s just me. I’m not a monster.”

Gordon released the crowbar and let it drop onto the mattress, coming to his senses at last. Relieved, Alyx took it and moved it out of his reach. He looked distraught, realising what he had very nearly done.

“A-alyx, I – I’m...”

He shrank back and turned away from her, burying his face into his palms. His strained words were just about audible.

“I’m sorry... I’m so sorry...”

“Hey...”

She shuffled close to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, watching with concern and unable to disguise the worry in her voice. He was overwhelmed by mixed emotions and shivering uncontrollably. It prompted her to adjust the covers around them, both for comfort and to retain warmth.

“Gordon, it’s okay. I’m not hurt and it wasn’t your fault. You had a nightmare, a very bad one by the looks of it.”

Thunder rumbled through the shack and lightning flickered over the windows. It made her flinch but Gordon’s reaction was a lot more unexpected; he covered his head and curled into a ball as if it were reflex. A muffled whimper came from the quivering man who suddenly appeared so fragile and whilst hard to discern at first, she soon heard him quietly sobbing.

Taken back by the uncharacteristic behaviour, Alyx was slow to react. Of all the things she had prepared herself for, this certainly wasn’t one of them. She wrapped an arm around him and rubbed at his back gently with her other hand, trying to soothe him.

“Shhh, it’s just the storm. No striders, no combine, none of that stuff. It’s just us, safe and sound. I’m here for you, Gordon... It’s going to be alright.”

It upset her to see him this way. This wasn’t the Gordon she knew, but then again she didn’t really _know_ him at all. She had no idea of what he had been through, both before and after they met.

Her father once explained that Gordon had been the one to stop the Black Mesa incident after being involved in its cause. Although he didn’t talk about those events much, preferring to share the better memories he had, what he did describe was beyond horrific. It left permanent scars, the deepest being the death of her mother.

Gordon’s scars were being shown to her right now.

What had he seen? What had he done to ensure he survived? How was he handling all of this and where he had been until now? Only he knew and it was likely he hadn’t told a single soul any of those answers. There was only so long someone could hold that trauma back.

Her eyes caught the HEV in the lightning’s flash, its carapace battered and scratched. Their struggles had turned the once pristine Mk5 into a tool of war. Was its wearer any different?

Underneath that symbol of strength and hope was a broken man.

Alyx sighed softly, continuing her gentle comfort and began to hum. She was a terrible singer and completely out of tune but it didn’t stop her from doing it anyway. There was always this one song that Barney would hum to himself and he did it so often that it got stuck in her head. She figured it was something to help with stress, as it was slow and serene, with gentle rises and falls of pitch. It had helped her, maybe it could help him?

Rolls of thunder growled overhead, her voice filling the void between them. Whilst the storm raged on she protected him from its wrath, like he had done for her against swarms of bullets, explosions, claws and teeth.

Gradually, the shivers eased and the sobs grew quieter. Noticing that he was starting to settle, she stopped.

“You’ve got a heavy burden, Gordon... And I can’t begin to imagine how that feels. I just... I just want you to know that you don’t have to deal with it alone.”

She eased him up and out of his despair, catching his right hand as it fell away and held it. He stiffly complied, sitting on his knees with his head bowed. He didn’t look at her, focused on the blankets and she wasn’t certain if it was guilt or shame that prevented him from making eye contact. Leaning against him, Alyx began to examine the hand he hadn’t requested back, running her fingertips over his palm.

“I never got the chance to thank you... I mean, _really_ thank you, for saving my life.”

She didn’t raise her gaze, playing with the hand in her lap for the moment as it offered her a distraction. Whilst not as inward as Gordon, she wasn’t used to talking about her feelings so openly. When was there even time to? When was the _right_ time?

“You could have died, trying to save me... And others could have died after that. We would have failed. You could have taken the data and carried on, but you didn’t.”

“... And you could have left me under that rubble and saved yourself.” Gordon muttered.

“That was different.” She interjected.

His fingers curled around hers and she glanced up at him.

“Was it?”

Glassy green eyes looked back at her, face damp from tears. She reached up with her other hand and carefully wiped his cheeks with her palm, until it was caught by his resting over it. Surprised at first, feeling slight embarrassment, she was about to pull away but found it wasn’t a touch of rejection. It was invitation.

“I – I thought you were dead, Gordon... Dad told me to leave, begged me to, but I didn’t want to give up. There was a chance and any small chance is –“

“Worth trying?”

Alyx blinked, stammering a little, realising that she had used the very same words he had in the past.

“Y-yeah...”

“Then you understand why I did it... And that it was worth the risk.”

Feeling her cheeks burning under his intense gaze, she cleared her throat and shrugged.

“Is _that_ what being a scientist is all about? Risking it all for the end result?” She quipped, trying to play it cool.

“Well, I wouldn’t say I’m your _average_ scientist.” Gordon lightly smirked, raising his eyebrow and doing that little head tilt she’d remembered hinted when he was joking.

Alyx grinned.

“No, you’re really not, Dr. Freeman.”

“Formalities now, Miss Vance?”

“God, I hate it when people call me that.”

“I know. That’s why I did it.”

“Ass!” She laughed, nudging him with her shoulder.

Gordon chuckled quietly and she was relieved to see him a little happier. He didn’t deserve to suffer or to struggle alone. She knew it wasn’t going to be an easy fix but she planned to be there when he needed someone and maybe, in his own time, he would open up to her. For now, however, she was content with just being close.

The pair’s laughter faded and their eyes met, falling silent. Time stood still, the moment caught and held like a photograph. They got lost within each other’s gazes and were drawn together, as if gravity itself worked against them. Gordon’s hand released hers and rested on her cheek, causing a sharp intake of breath at the warmth of his touch. Flutters of air passed their lips, dancing over the sensitive skin and there was a moment of hesitation before they met in a tender kiss.

Their holding hands tightened just a little, giving reassurance to them both. Closing their eyes and relying on their sense of touch, enticing tingles caressed their cheeks in soft strokes. Seconds which were more like minutes passed and the kiss broke momentarily. Alyx slowly sank into the mattress which suddenly didn’t seem so uncomfortable anymore, bringing Gordon with her. Exhales exchanged as their lips met again, deeper and prolonged.

Gordon rested on his knees, cupping her neck with his hand and brushing his thumb over her jaw. Slender digits got tangled in his hair, combing it back until settling on his nape. The kiss ended and their eyes opened, both full of longing despite the murmur of trepidation which lingered.

Alyx smiled, lightly tracing her fingers over his neck and brushed her knuckles against his cheek. Gordon leant into the touch which almost felt alien to him by now, too used to pain or harsh conditions. He had been so alone for so long. Human interaction had never been his strong suit, save for a few select people he trusted, but this shadow of a world he once knew had only made him more resistant to it. He’d grown cold.

The more time he had spent around Alyx, however, the warmer he had become. She made him feel human again, brought light to a dark future and broke through the barriers that were his shortcomings. What started as a friendship blossomed into something far greater and almost losing her proved to him just how deep it had taken root.

At first it was all about surviving.

Now? She made him want to _live._

Her hand settled on his shoulder and she leant up to meet his face, kissing him deeply. Gordon sunk into it, returning the gesture fondly. She released his other hand and wrapped her arm around his neck, feeling his body heat rising in temperature. He propped himself up with his now free hand, the other smoothing over her neck and shoulder. In passing, his fingers caught the strap of her top and slid it away.

He alternated his leverage, beginning to undress her whilst simultaneously stimulating her skin with intentional grazes over sensitive areas and making her gasp. Lost in the moment of rapture, she assisted in the endeavour, freeing both herself and him. Clothes landed around the mattress without a care, their bodies entwining.

Lying back again, Alyx’s hands explored Gordon’s lean form as he kissed at her neck, gasping softly at the tiny, tickling pleasure each one wrought. She felt his fingers map out her neck and shoulder, goosebumps forming. Her body came to life with acute sensitivity, each cell responding with gratuitous harmony to every little thing he did.

The closer they stayed, the less they needed the blankets. They sustained themselves on each other, the pattering rain creating a white noise accompaniment to their gasps and heavy breaths.

His tactful touch trailed down to her breast, circling the delicate areas in slow, purposeful motions. She inhaled deeply and a sudden quiver made it shake, a small moan following.

To further increase the excitement, his kisses paved a way along her jaw and to her lips once more. She took them readily, urging him to continue with a deeper, groan-inducing response. Whilst he continued to arouse her, she invigorated him by massaging his chest with her fingers. Shocks ran through his muscles, causing involuntary twitches.

The tempo and direction alternated at a whim and was wonderfully merciless. She took hold of his fingers and guided them to where the enjoyment resonated most. In between the kiss, she mewled.

“G-gordon... Ah...”

She tilted her head back, panting and felt his hand break away from hers. Light, teasing touches over supple tawny curves delved further and she returned the favour in the form of pecks over his collarbone.

A stroke from below filled her with bliss and the built up anticipation was let free via a sharp gasp. Another followed, then another; rolls upon rolls of gratification made her back arch and body writhe. She panted into his ear and the flutters of breath only served to spur him. Gordon was on fire, his desire growing with each passing moment. As if she knew, she dragged her nails lightly to cause just enough friction for it to be pleasurable as opposed to painful.

“Nnh...”

Whilst the addictive grazes continued she felt lips upon her neck. Warm, heavy pants made the areas tingle, sweat starting to bead on her brow. She played with his short tresses until her hand settled on the back of his head.

“Mmh...”

A subtle hint was given by the movement of legs and it was acknowledged almost like it was instinct.

They both gasped when the gap closed between them. Coupled utterly, their fingers interlaced and pulses of fulfilment quaked through their bodies like a heartbeat. Moderate shifting of hips from both parties increased the thrill, moans exchanged as they kissed deeply.

Finally the two could speak in a language that they could understand without words. Every action expressed their unspoken admiration, their worry and their care. Whilst they had so much to learn about their partner, this surpassed any barrier that threatened to get in the way.

The pushes were slow at first. She felt her body rise and fall with each motion, pressing against his as it did the same. Breathless, they made eye contact under heavy lids and took in each other’s delight. A look of amusement flashed over their faces, realising that they were both checking for the same thing; acceptance. They weren’t so different.

With a smile they sank into an intense, encompassing kiss.

Wrapping her arm around his neck, Alyx went with the flow and let the thrilling pulses take her. Gordon lost himself to the rhythm, every thrust taking him someplace higher. He didn’t care where, so long as she was going with him.

Faster, firmer, hotter; the storm was a distant memory, as was the shack and the forest beyond its walls.

Alyx continued where Gordon left off, accelerating her stimulation with massages and strokes. Their hands’ grip tightened, heads swimming with intoxicating lust. They craved more, so they gave more. Gasps melted into groans and cries. Kisses on hot flesh were like freezer burn.

Yearning for release, they entered a thrilled daze. A wave began to take over; carrying them beyond what they could take and it erupted into pure, unadulterated satisfaction.

Every muscle in their bodies tensed, the climax surging through them both at the same time. Quivers prolonged the sensation of indulgence. Their sweating hands let go and were used to hold each other as they came back down to earth.

Heavy breathing filled the silence. Feeling incredibly drunk, their movements were slow and unfocused. They hadn’t slept but the experience was almost dreamlike.

Gordon slumped onto the mattress in a heap and Alyx brought herself close, pulling the covers over them both before hugging him. He hugged her back, already starting to doze off – more worn out than he was previously.

“Gordon...?” Alyx asked quietly, eyes closed.

“Mm...?”

“I... I love you...”

Pausing for a moment, Gordon opened his eyes and looked down to the young woman in his arms. He smiled widely and warmly, closing his eyes again.

“I love you, too.”

“You’re still an ass, though.”

Gordon chuckled and Alyx snickered, fading into quiet as they fell into a deep, restful sleep. Neither was disturbed by nightmares or the storm, even when it reached its violent peak. Nothing could separate them from their embrace, not now and not ever.

In this miserable world, one had become a beacon of stability for the other. They were entangled in each other’s hearts and minds, present and future.

_“Almost Vortal, this bond between you.”_


End file.
